Stop Hurting Yourself: 5 Signs of An Abusive Relationship

Everyone has disagreements with their partners, family members, and others close to them on occasion. However, if this becomes a consistent pattern and you are afraid of your partner, it is a sign of domestic violence. You may believe that you have no control over your life and that your partner controls you. Obviously, you are in an abusive relationship.

Sometimes abuser will not resort to direct violence, but will torture you through verbal abuse and humiliation. totwoo’s view: No matter what form of violence, no matter whether the perpetrator is a man or a woman, should you be brave enough to say no and end the relationship as soon as possible. Here are 5 signs of an abusive relationship. Any one of the following signs is serious. Keep all of them in your mind.

Take control of everything

One partner has complete control over the relationship and makes all decisions. He or she keeps “checking up” you, including asking where you go and who you meet everytime, checking your cellphone for call history. They even control your money and don’t allow you to go to some places, talking to some people.

Maybe you will think it is his/her way to show love and care. However, it’s not a normal behaviour of love and care. All he/she wants to do is control you. Your partner does not respect you, on the contrary, he/she is constantly testing your bottom line, treating you as his/her belongings rather than a person.

Be extremely jealous 

Jealousy is one of signs of an abusive relationship and a sign of insecurity and lack of trust, but your partner will claim that it is a sign of love. Your partner may question you about who they talk to, accuse them of flirting, or be jealous of time spent with their friends or even your family. For fear of meeting someone else, he/she may refuse to let you work or attend school. If this occasion happens to you, you must realize your lover is dangerous. Try to leave him as soon as possible.

Use violence

Phisical abuse is the most obvious characteristic of the abuser, which includes slapping, kicking, punching, choking, pinching and physical restraints. Your partner may also threat you by some words like ““I’ll kill you”, “I’ll break your neck”, “If you ever leave, I’ll shoot you.”. Once your partner begins to hit you, it means the situation becomes really dangerous. You should leave him/her as soon as possible.

Some people may say to themselves like these: “They didn’t mean to hurt me”, “Maybe it’s a one-time thing”, “My partner loves me – they’re not violent all the time” You should remind yourself that it’s not a real love. You are perfect and you deserve a better person.

Insult you all the time

Verbal abuse is one of the signs of an abusive relationship. The abuser says cruel and harmful things to you, calls your names, curses at you, degrades you, or disparages yours accomplishments. The abuser tells you that you are stupid and you can’t live without them. Compared with physical conflicts, people usually have a higher tolerance for verbal insults, and they don't think it's a big deal. But this kind of verbal insults will have a subtle impact on people's psychology, so that you will be depressed, produce low self-esteem, and begin to doubt themselves.

Often out of control emotionally

The abuser often loses his temper for no reason. The frequency of losing your temper is very high, and they often lose their temper because of some trivial things. This behaviour is often accompanied by verbal abuse, such as swearing.

In a healthy relationship, the other person is an emotionally stable person. Otherwise he is just consuming your emotions instead of providing you with emotional value.

Everyone should say no to abusive relationship. However, it’s not easy for everyone. Even if the way you are being treated is unacceptable, making the decision and planning to leave an abusive relationship can be frightening and difficult. Your finances and housing may be inextricably linked, making it difficult to separate.

Here are some tips on how to leave this kind of abusive relationship from totwoo: Create a phrase or a gesture to alert others that you are in danger and need assistance; Make sure you have a bag packed with the necessities that you can grab and go such as clothes, money, and documents. Most importantly, connect with trusted friends and loved ones to assist you in escaping the dangerous relationship. Just remember one thing: once he shows one of these signs of an abusive relationship, do everything you can to get out.